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The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart. Wishing you happiness.
– Helen Keller  
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  Volume No. 9 Issue No. 12 December 2012  

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Monkey Business
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   THE GREAT BANK ROBBERY
   Maria Garcia walked into the Capital One Bank in Mission, Texas, and handed the teller a hold-up note. The teller obliged and handed her a wad of cash. Garcia quickly fled the bank, thinking she had pulled off a successful robbery. However, she had written her hold-up note on the back of a completed food stamp application, which included her name and address! Duh!
   
   MY BIG FAT ROBBERY
   In Purcell, Okla., two obese men strolling the aisles in Wal-Mart were eyeing high-dollar digital cameras. The surveillance video captured the men scanning the aisles and then focused on a locked cabinet for 15 minutes. The men returned to the photo department with a shopping cart and a backpack. The men took the cameras out of the backpack and to an area outside of the surveillance camera observation area. They took the cameras out of the package and left the packages. The men then went through the checkout line to purchase a few smaller items. Police determined the men had keys to the camera case and knew where to stand so they wouldn’t be caught on camera breaking into the case. How did they get out of the store with the cameras? The two overweight dudes hid the high-priced cameras in their rolls of stomach fat.
   
   THE ROGUE CHEF
   Scranton, Penn., police said a 24-year-old man was drunk when he walked into someone else’s home and began fixing himself a late-night dinner, along with a nightcap. All the while, the occupants of the home slept soundly on the living room couch. Steven Johnson had a heck of a meal – steak, clams, crab and shrimp. After he was finished dining, he left with some leftovers, Klondike bars and bottles of rum and vodka. Apparently, one of the home’s occupants woke up just as Johnson was leaving the house. He called police and the unwanted dinner guest/chef was apprehended a few blocks from the house.


 
  

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