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The New Falcon Herald
 
If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant; if we did not sometimes taste adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome.
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  Volume No. 11 Issue No. 4 April 2014  

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Monkey Business
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  Stupid Christmas crimes

   Shooting mistletoe?
   William E. Robinson of Georgia was arrested for opening fire at a sprig of mistletoe outside a shopping mall. He didn’t want to hurt anyone; he was just upholding his favorite Christmas tradition. “Every year I go somewhere to get some mistletoe to decorate the house ... I get some for my friends that can't get mistletoe. The best way to get it is with a shotgun.” Here’s one for the gun control side.
   
   The spirit of giving
   Terry Trent of Ohio just loves the holiday season, and it seems that he wanted to do something special for someone. The 44-year-old man, high on bath salts, broke into a Dayton home and began putting up Christmas decorations. Then, he sat down and watched television, until the 11-year-old boy who lives there discovered him. What do they call the crime when the burglar brings things to the house?
   
   The violent ornament bandit
   Ruth Wagner stole a Christmas ornament at a craft fair she attended. The artisan chased after her; instead of giving it up, Wagner stabbed the guy in the arm with the ornament. Do they have a Christmas crafts class at the jail?
   
   Christmas morning gone bad
   In South Carolina, Patty White murdered her friend, Michele O’Dowd, because she needed to use O’Dowd’s debit card since she didn’t have any money for the holidays – her friend simply said, “No.” White buried O’Dowd under the pile of Christmas presents in the victim’s home. This is just so wrong.


 
  

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